I can't help but feel disappointed in KHJ. I admit, JoongBo was like 1/4 of what I liked about him, so yeah, I'm liking him less now. Not least of all because he's clearly an idiot for letting HB go. Even if it was HB who refused to start a relationship, HJ should have pursued her relentlessly until she gave in (her affection seemed clear to me).
But instead, based on his interviews, HJ's not the type to beg. He just lets go. He said he tends to get dumped because he likes spending time with his buddies more than his girlfriend and he's not good at expressing himself. Well, that's nice self-awareness, but if he can end his relationships, then it must mean he just didn't really care enough. No matter how proud you are or how difficult it is for you to express feelings, if you love that person, you wouldn't just let them go. HJ even said he doesn't believe in "the impossible love".
He said he believes in fated love, but it seems if there's a problem or a break-up, he thinks it just wasn't meant to be and lets go. That doesn't sound like a love of deep loyalty and destiny. I'm starting to think that HJ is just a serial monogamist.
Maybe he's still just too immature. There's nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with the guys, but it seems he just wants to have fun, not live a life together. I don't blame him; he just hasn't experienced real love yet.
So, *sigh* I've decided I no longer believe in JoongBo in real life anymore. It's been hard to accept, and I feel very sad and strangely empty (JoongBo took up so much of my heart?), but this is my new stance. I'll still ship them but as a fantasy. I'll treasure the memories of WGM, and I'll still believe that what we saw, what they experienced, was real. But it ended there, and all the coincidences of the past 2 years are just more bittersweet proof that they could be so perfect together... if only...
(I actually feel sorry for HJ. I think that HB is the only woman awesome enough to be happy with HJ and make him happy, too. There's a reason all his girlfriends break up with him after dating; because he is so not perfect, KHJ fangirls. >_> On the other hand, HB can have any man she wants, probably some hunky, sensitive, wonderful guy from Compassion. ;)
My heart will always dream of JoongBo. I'd be happier than anyone if they met again and fell back in love and actually did end up together! <3 But if not, it's okay, as long as both find love and happiness.
...
If I find out years later that HJ was just lying about everything and that they were together, I will fly to Korea and kick his ass!!
*sigh* I'm hopelessly JoongBo. -_-;
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Beholder (1st JoongBo Fic from My Ssangchuary)
The Beholder
If someone asked you to describe her in one word, you would immediately say, "Beautiful." But after a thought, you would regret that choice because "beautiful" is simply not good enough. The word implies mere physical attractiveness, and that isn’t what makes her special; at least, not the only thing.
Superficially, yes, she is an attractive woman. Her features are simultaneously elegant and exotic, effortlessly switching between classic and distinctive, simple and dramatic. Her figure is thin but curvy at all the right places, a toned body known for its sexiness as well as its athleticism. (You smirk a little because you know that girl idols ten years her junior would kill for her looks.) As for her hair, which she has cut, dyed, and styled into numerous combinations throughout the years, you prefer it long, black, and straight, like a girl-next-door. She fits any style of fashion, from gangster to glamorous, but you think she looks best when she’s herself, cool and casually sexy.
Yes, she is beautiful. But there are so many good-looking people in the world; to label her as just another pretty face would be a crime. And honestly speaking, she isn’t the prettiest celebrity you’ve seen. Yet there is some indefinable quality about her that makes her irresistible…
You conclude that it must be her goodness from within that makes her glow on the outside, and yes, you realize how corny that sounds, but there seems to be no other way to explain it. She is so good-natured that her eyes literally sparkle with mirth. Her already-perfect smile is further enhanced by the kindness that shines through. In the artificiality of the entertainment business, she is honest and bold. She may not be good at being cutesy, but she is lovable in her own way: funny, charming, and genuine. The warmth from her friendly and caring personality is almost palpable and draws everyone to her.
When you think about it, it is as if the purity of her heart physically manifests itself into her whole being. Her inner beauty, as they call it, is actually reflected in her appearance, proving the fairytale idea that Good is always the most beautiful.
Even her “flaws” are beauty marks. The crinkles around her bright eyes and full lips are the result of her signature boisterous laugh, to hell with “image.” Likewise, she is unafraid of spending time in the sun or working with her hands; her dedication to charities and missions far surpasses her desire to remain fair. Therefore wrinkles and dark skin, what most would call “imperfections” (you smirk again, remembering how she hates being teased about her age or skin tone), simply add to her perfection without pretention.
Yes, her heart is beautiful. Sometimes it is almost blinding, and you feel the need to turn away, ashamed of how lacking you are in so many ways. Her generosity and compassion just can’t be compared, least of all to yourself. She gives so much of herself to others—family, friends, strangers in need— so selflessly. When you see her playing with the children in the streets, bringing them the simple joy of companionship and hope, you pray for her happiness. You wish for it on all the stars in the sky from whence she was sent.
You give a soft sigh. Her face, her body, her mind, her heart, her soul—all beautiful. And so, although it is a painfully insufficient word, it is the one you choose to describe her.
And you think, “I love her this much, and I’m simply her fan. How could he, the blessed beholder of her beauty for 5 months, not be completely in love with her?” And that is all the proof your little fangirl heart needs.
Author's Note
This wasn't the first fic I had in my head, but it was the first one I actually sat down and wrote to completion. I never imagined writing one page could be so hard. :P I'm really nervous about sharing it, especially after reading so many awesome fics, but I hope it's not absolute crap. ^^;;
What do you think of my little fake-out? Please don't expect all my fics to have clever twists; I assure you, it was an accident! These really are my thoughts and feelings about HwangBo, and sometimes when I doubt whether Hyun Joong's girlfriend is really HwangBo (because he is so obviously in love but not so obviously with her), I remind myself that it would be virtually impossible for him not to fall in love with her.
His reactions must be similar to mine:
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my first JB fic. If just one person liked it, then I'm happy. ^_^ Please leave a comment with any criticism, feedback, or *crosses fingers* compliments you may have! Thank you for reading! :D
If someone asked you to describe her in one word, you would immediately say, "Beautiful." But after a thought, you would regret that choice because "beautiful" is simply not good enough. The word implies mere physical attractiveness, and that isn’t what makes her special; at least, not the only thing.
Superficially, yes, she is an attractive woman. Her features are simultaneously elegant and exotic, effortlessly switching between classic and distinctive, simple and dramatic. Her figure is thin but curvy at all the right places, a toned body known for its sexiness as well as its athleticism. (You smirk a little because you know that girl idols ten years her junior would kill for her looks.) As for her hair, which she has cut, dyed, and styled into numerous combinations throughout the years, you prefer it long, black, and straight, like a girl-next-door. She fits any style of fashion, from gangster to glamorous, but you think she looks best when she’s herself, cool and casually sexy.
Yes, she is beautiful. But there are so many good-looking people in the world; to label her as just another pretty face would be a crime. And honestly speaking, she isn’t the prettiest celebrity you’ve seen. Yet there is some indefinable quality about her that makes her irresistible…
You conclude that it must be her goodness from within that makes her glow on the outside, and yes, you realize how corny that sounds, but there seems to be no other way to explain it. She is so good-natured that her eyes literally sparkle with mirth. Her already-perfect smile is further enhanced by the kindness that shines through. In the artificiality of the entertainment business, she is honest and bold. She may not be good at being cutesy, but she is lovable in her own way: funny, charming, and genuine. The warmth from her friendly and caring personality is almost palpable and draws everyone to her.
When you think about it, it is as if the purity of her heart physically manifests itself into her whole being. Her inner beauty, as they call it, is actually reflected in her appearance, proving the fairytale idea that Good is always the most beautiful.
Even her “flaws” are beauty marks. The crinkles around her bright eyes and full lips are the result of her signature boisterous laugh, to hell with “image.” Likewise, she is unafraid of spending time in the sun or working with her hands; her dedication to charities and missions far surpasses her desire to remain fair. Therefore wrinkles and dark skin, what most would call “imperfections” (you smirk again, remembering how she hates being teased about her age or skin tone), simply add to her perfection without pretention.
Yes, her heart is beautiful. Sometimes it is almost blinding, and you feel the need to turn away, ashamed of how lacking you are in so many ways. Her generosity and compassion just can’t be compared, least of all to yourself. She gives so much of herself to others—family, friends, strangers in need— so selflessly. When you see her playing with the children in the streets, bringing them the simple joy of companionship and hope, you pray for her happiness. You wish for it on all the stars in the sky from whence she was sent.
You give a soft sigh. Her face, her body, her mind, her heart, her soul—all beautiful. And so, although it is a painfully insufficient word, it is the one you choose to describe her.
And you think, “I love her this much, and I’m simply her fan. How could he, the blessed beholder of her beauty for 5 months, not be completely in love with her?” And that is all the proof your little fangirl heart needs.
Author's Note
This wasn't the first fic I had in my head, but it was the first one I actually sat down and wrote to completion. I never imagined writing one page could be so hard. :P I'm really nervous about sharing it, especially after reading so many awesome fics, but I hope it's not absolute crap. ^^;;
What do you think of my little fake-out? Please don't expect all my fics to have clever twists; I assure you, it was an accident! These really are my thoughts and feelings about HwangBo, and sometimes when I doubt whether Hyun Joong's girlfriend is really HwangBo (because he is so obviously in love but not so obviously with her), I remind myself that it would be virtually impossible for him not to fall in love with her.
His reactions must be similar to mine:
"She's so gorgeous. I love her. :)"
"She's so funny and naturally cute! I just love her. :D"
"She's so kind and compassionate and good! I LOVE HER! <3"
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my first JB fic. If just one person liked it, then I'm happy. ^_^ Please leave a comment with any criticism, feedback, or *crosses fingers* compliments you may have! Thank you for reading! :D
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